How Do I Get An Ex Girlfriend Back? -
The Problem With Showing Your Love
The Problem With Showing Your Love
I was chatting with a good buddy of mine the other day, and it occurred to me that her and her husband have already been married for a few years now.
The funny thing is when she was first dating her husband, she was treating him more like a casual fling than anything else. So you could imagine my surprise way back when, when she told me they were 'going out', and then engaged.
I asked her what it was about him that turned him from 'someone good for now' into 'someone great for always', and she recounts how she wasn't into him, UNTIL he backed off 'for good'.
He sprung an ultimatum on her (which she didn't like at all), and told her that he couldn't continue to see her unless it was 'official'. My friend didn't like being put on the spot like that, so she agreed they should stop seeing each other then.
He tried a couple more times to contact her, but she didn't return his calls. Then she was explaining how it was bothering her that a month or so went by without his calls, or his attention. It all made sense to me.
In dating land, we are always most curious by the ones that intrigue us. And these people are those that we have to work a little to get their attention. We don't like people that 'need' us, we love people that 'want' us.
So go figure that my buddy's interest piqued in her guy when she was unsure of his feelings anymore, as opposed to when it was so obvious.
In this sense, the same can be said for those that are wondering - How do I get an ex girlfriend back? The answer is... You have the best chance of getting her back, if you give her the chance to wonder about you.
But she's not going to wonder about you, if she's not thinking about you. And when I mean thinking, I don't mean negative thoughts. What I mean is you have her curiosity piqued...in a good way.
This is exactly why being predictable with your feelings, and confessing your undying love, does not work. If anything, she will be pissed off if she constantly wanted more attention from you during the relationship, but you never stepped up.. until now.
She will be annoyed if you were the clingy type, and she was always asking for her space. And you keep doing the same things.. still.
And if you've cheated, and now think showering her with affection will work.. wrong. She's turned off 'cause the trust has been broken.
She needs to miss you. So let her think about you. If she gets worried that you're not into her as much, or at all - she will want to do something about this. This is a good thing.
Whether it's the attention she misses, or it's genuinely about you, time will tell. The whole point is you want to re-establish the basis for a connection. Once you get her talking, and agreeing to see you, is when you can leverage the relationship some more.
As long as you have her listening, you get the power of winning back her heart. But if she refuses to hear you, or see you, then you've got to make her fret a little.
Back off, and let her seek you out. Believe me, she will. Her desire for you will re-emerge, 'cause you aren't being the safe, and annoying, bet anymore.
-xo Kat
www.howtogeturgirlback.com
The funny thing is when she was first dating her husband, she was treating him more like a casual fling than anything else. So you could imagine my surprise way back when, when she told me they were 'going out', and then engaged.
I asked her what it was about him that turned him from 'someone good for now' into 'someone great for always', and she recounts how she wasn't into him, UNTIL he backed off 'for good'.
He sprung an ultimatum on her (which she didn't like at all), and told her that he couldn't continue to see her unless it was 'official'. My friend didn't like being put on the spot like that, so she agreed they should stop seeing each other then.
He tried a couple more times to contact her, but she didn't return his calls. Then she was explaining how it was bothering her that a month or so went by without his calls, or his attention. It all made sense to me.
In dating land, we are always most curious by the ones that intrigue us. And these people are those that we have to work a little to get their attention. We don't like people that 'need' us, we love people that 'want' us.
So go figure that my buddy's interest piqued in her guy when she was unsure of his feelings anymore, as opposed to when it was so obvious.
In this sense, the same can be said for those that are wondering - How do I get an ex girlfriend back? The answer is... You have the best chance of getting her back, if you give her the chance to wonder about you.
But she's not going to wonder about you, if she's not thinking about you. And when I mean thinking, I don't mean negative thoughts. What I mean is you have her curiosity piqued...in a good way.
This is exactly why being predictable with your feelings, and confessing your undying love, does not work. If anything, she will be pissed off if she constantly wanted more attention from you during the relationship, but you never stepped up.. until now.
She will be annoyed if you were the clingy type, and she was always asking for her space. And you keep doing the same things.. still.
And if you've cheated, and now think showering her with affection will work.. wrong. She's turned off 'cause the trust has been broken.
She needs to miss you. So let her think about you. If she gets worried that you're not into her as much, or at all - she will want to do something about this. This is a good thing.
Whether it's the attention she misses, or it's genuinely about you, time will tell. The whole point is you want to re-establish the basis for a connection. Once you get her talking, and agreeing to see you, is when you can leverage the relationship some more.
As long as you have her listening, you get the power of winning back her heart. But if she refuses to hear you, or see you, then you've got to make her fret a little.
Back off, and let her seek you out. Believe me, she will. Her desire for you will re-emerge, 'cause you aren't being the safe, and annoying, bet anymore.
-xo Kat
www.howtogeturgirlback.com
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